Iceberg lettuce is a waste. It should be banished to the nether regions of the vegetable kingdom, where its watery carcass will be left to rot and reflect on its pointless existence.

On the other side of the lettuce spectrum, however, we have beautifully green, tasty, crunchy leaves, full of nutrients and vitamins and goodness. Green leaf, red leaf, romaine. There’s also something called asparagus lettuce, which is a mystery.

THIS is lettuce.

Home-grown (by our dad in his vegetable garden), it’s what we’ll be eating all week in our salads. He brought it over this morning, handing us a large bag filled with lettuce he’d handpicked an hour before and, excitedly, we each grabbed a handful and stuffed it in our mouths. Unfortunately, he hadn’t washed it, so we each ended up with a mouthful of dirt.


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