everyone wants to be gollum.

Our mom likes to lure us home with promises of delicious food. Of course, we don’t need to be lured – we like to visit – but good food doesn’t hurt, either. This particular Saturday, we were in the kitchen of our parent’s house. Dad was playing around with his viola, Charlie (the brother) was alternately on his computer and shouting about things (if you have ever met Charlie, you know his voice only comes in one pitch: loud), and mom was chopping various vegetables and hovering over a pot of something that smelled amazing.

I happened to be standing near mom, getting ready to make some tea, when I heard her whispering to herself.

“Taters, precious. We wants taters, doesn’t we? Taters, precious.”


* We pity you if you don’t know who gollum is. Watch this.


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