I don’t like to hurt things. I think even inanimate objects have souls, especially if they have faces, and I make up personalities for them and create dialogue. For example, our Christmas tree this year is displeased with us because we forgot to water him, and we’re afraid he’ll burst into flame to spite us.
In this spirit, I cannot put out poison for the mice, or glue traps for the flies. The mice that used to infiltrate our old apartment were named ‘Gus Gus’; for those of you not familiar with Cinderella, Gus Gus is a mouse that is both silly and fat. The mice in our apartment used to sit in the burners on the stove watching us, taunting us. One of them even attacked Katie as she slept, and when she woke up, scaled right back up the sofa to try again. They were brazen and lovely, and I could not be part of their demise.
In a similar vein, one day I planted herbs in a pot and put it on the window ledge. Days later, I noticed the plant appeared to be moving on its own; it was infested with moths! I took the plant outside and left it there, thinking the matter concluded. Soon, we began seeing moths in the bathroom, in the bedroom, perched on light switch plates. Rod wanted to exterminate them all with poison, and I replied “they want to live too!“. In the moths I envisioned a family structure, friends.
Then, they began appearing in the food, and that’s when something had to be done. We had to throw away everything that wasn’t in the fridge, only to buy new food and have that contaminated as well. My view of the moths began to change.
We became monsters. Anything that flew I made Rod kill. Nothing had the will to live once we had our sights on it. Rod’s particular skill was cracking the dishtowel like a whip, disabling anything flying through the air like lightning. Packaged food was eyed with suspicion before consuming, furniture was overturned. And as time passed, the moths disappeared. But their disappearance could not erase the darkness in my heart. The killer in me.
I am sad to say the moth invasion has changed the way I view living creatures. They are no longer innocent and friendly. Some must be squashed before they invade.